Caught in the Middle: Sandwich Generation Caregivers

Did you know that nearly one in four people caring for someone living with Alzheimer’s and dementia are sandwich generation caregivers?

Sandwich generation adults are defined as people between their 30s-50s who have a parent aged 65 or older. They are also either raising minor children or supporting grown children.

Beyond caring for their own families, sandwich generation caregivers are loaded with many other obligations. These may include housework or working full-time jobs. They might also be expected to drive their parents and kids to medical appointments, coordinate with care partners, attend parent-teacher meetings, and more.

What’s more, beyond providing care and financial support, 38% of members of the sandwich generation say both their children and parents rely on them for emotional support.

Needless to say, balancing one’s caregiving role with other responsibilities can leave one burned out. Worse, it can have dire consequences on physical and mental health.

Signs of Burnout for Sandwich Generation Caregivers

Knowing the signs of burnout for sandwich generation caregivers is important so you can take action and prevent the situation from worsening.

According to Psychology Today, the warning signs of caregiver burnout can include:

• Feeling irritable, frustrated, or impatient, especially towards the people you are caring for
• Feeling no satisfaction in what you do
• Hopelessness, losing interest in things you once enjoyed doing; sadness and crying spells
• Feeling anxious and overwhelmed over the number of responsibilities you have on your plate
• Physical symptoms, such as sudden weight loss or weight gain; headaches, heart palpitations

Self-Care Tips for Sandwich Generation Caregivers

How can sandwich generation caregivers prevent burnout from happening in the first place? Here are some tried-and-tested tips from people who have done the work themselves and pulled through.

Accept that you need support.

Many caregivers have the tendency to take it all on themselves. And sandwich generation caregivers often have responsibilities for multiple people at the same time, leading to frequent stress. Take a deep breath, sit back, and know that asking for help doesn’t make you weak. Asking for help reveals strength, courage, confidence, and resourcefulness. You don’t always need to have the answers.

Ask for help.

Whether it’s asking a trusted neighbor to check on your loved ones while you’re in the office, or asking your cousin to watch the kids during the weekend while you take time off for yourself, these little favors can do so much to alleviate the caregiver burden. You’d be surprised at just how much people are willing to help. Sometimes, all it takes is for you to ask.

Explore outside resources.

If no family members or friends are available to sit in for you, consider hiring a professional caregiver, depending on your loved one’s needs, and your financial capacity. Is hiring professional help out of your budget? Consider inquiring with community resources: these can be your nearest church, synagogue, or senior center. They may be able to point you to resources that can offer you further assistance.

Involve your kids.

Involving your children in their elders’ day-to-day care can set a good example of how each family member takes care of each other. Consider age-appropriate ways your kids could be involved in caring for grandpa or grandma. Perhaps there might be games they could play or hobbies they could engage in together. Your tech-savvy kids might even be able to teach your parents a thing or two about using gadgets or apps.

Join support groups.

Knowing you’re not alone in your struggles can be immensely validating. Talking to others who are going through the same thing could also provide a lot of insight that might help you in overcoming your own difficulties. The Internet has a wealth of communities for caregivers of people living with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. Facebook groups like Memory People, for example, will allow you to participate in discussions with fellow caregivers while also being able to ask your own questions or share your story.

Simplify your life.

You don’t have to say yes to every invitation or offer. Learning to say no is important for your physical and mental health. If you run a business, find ways you can outsource tasks that don’t require much of your involvement. This also gives you more time for yourself and your personal goals without overstretching yourself.

Get organized.

Make sure you have important contacts stored in your phone, such as your loved one’s physicians and care providers, and emergency services. Google Keep and Notion allow you to create lists that can be accessed from anywhere. You can also use your phone’s calendar app to set recurring alarms and reminders for appointments, medication refills, et cetera. An entertainment app for people living with dementia like Joygage can also help keep your loved one occupied, so you will have more time for respite.

Be kind to yourself.

Accept that you will make mistakes or that you will show weakness. When the going gets tough, you may become emotional– you might get impatient and frustrated, let your temper get ahead of you, or cry yourself to sleep. Blaming yourself for your own mistakes will only hurt you; don’t forget to be your own best friend.

Spreading yourself too thin won’t do any good– not for your parents, not for your children, and especially not for yourself. You only have 24 hours in a day– make sure to set aside a few of those for yourself, so you can recharge and wake up each morning feeling refreshed and ready to move forward.